I have no clue what I am doing...

Well, here I go. I have never blogged. And as my title states, I have no clue what I am doing. But I am going to give it my best shot!

I have to start by saying where I got my inspiration to start this blog. My cousin Mandy is a terrific writer and she has a blog. She has begun blogging frequently and her messages move me. I tend to be the person who sometimes hold in my thoughts. When I really get into
uncomfortable situations, I won't speak, I will just hold my thoughts in. After taking time to process information, I sometimes find it soothing to write my thoughts down. Other times, I just think of stupid saying and thoughts and I just write them down to laugh at myself-- or just to remember what stupid thing I said so I can tell people later! So this will now be a venue I will use to express my thoughts, feelings, and at times I am sure, my stupid thoughts! All I ask of any of my readers, if I ever have any-- please do not judge anything I write. Thoughts I write will be just that, my thoughts. My true feelings. Things I have learned. Things I like. No more, no less.

I will not start this blog with my life story, as most people reading this will already know most of it! I will just start at where my life it today. An engaged woman, who is getting married in 141 days. A woman who is marrying the love of her life. A woman who feels blessed by all that I have in life. Many of you know of Patrick, my soon to be husband. I am sure he will be referenced in many of my posts. Some of you may not know much of Patrick, so here is what I can say about him. Patrick is a special soul who is full of peace and love. Never in my life have I met a man who is so attentive, loving, funny, handsome, charasmatic, charming, cute as a button, old fasioned, and giving! I could go on for days on what a special man I have! Patrick works as a Dallas Police Officer in Oak Cliff. He is a GREAT cop! He works in a BAD area of Dallas and works Midnight-8:00am. I admire his love for the job and his dedication in helping people! I must say, at times I am even jealous of how much he loves his job. He is doing the job of his dreams. He couldn't imagine doing anything else; this alone makes me want to find my calling in life. Don't get me wrong, I have a GREAT job! I love the people I work with. I have stability, get paid decently, and am good at what I do. But it's not what I love. This is something I am working through my head, as I want to find what Patrick has in his career. Pure happiness. A job is not always easy and not always pleasurable, but when you love what you do- that makes all the difference. That is what keeps you coming back everyday. Not the paycheck...the love of the job. As I sit at my desk, in my office at 11am, tucked away from the world, he is still at work because he busted an auto-theft ring! Who does that? When I talk to him on the phone, I can hear his adrenaline, I can hear his excitement. I cannot tell you when I have had those emotions while working. It's truly amazing. Now don't get me wrong, I could never be a cop. I hate confrontation. I hate seeing people hurt or in need. I hate being bossy. I just need to find my niche in life. And I know I will, at some point-- right???

Well I have truly rambled on my first post and I apologize to those who get bored by my long exerpts. All I can say is, if you ever get bored by what I write, there is a black X in the top right hand corner of your screen, feel free to use it. This blog is to help me get thoughts out of my brain so I can free up some space! This will be my venue to just write, the good, bad and ugly. It will just be me and my thoughts... in the raw.